March is Multiple Sclerosis awareness month and I have decided to do my part to share what MS is to me.
Multiple Sclerosis is one of many diseases that is often called an invisible
illness. No one could look at me and know that I have MS. It is easily the most
frustrating part of this disease. People really do say 'but you look so good'
when they find out about my disease.
My most prominent MS symptoms:
-Fatigue: I am tired constantly. It's a full-body tired that never goes away
no matter how much sleep I get, though naps help.
-Cognitive Fatigue: Often called brain fog. I can't always find the words I am
looking for, sometimes I stutter. Learning new things is harder than it used to
be. Some days I feel just stupid, but a little patience goes a long way!
-Numbness: It comes and goes in my fingers, toes, arms, legs.
-Emotional Disturbances: I can be an emotional mess some days - which is
sometimes helpful for a writer :) Crying for no reason, angry for no reason,
laughing when nothing is funny.
-Headaches: I have one everyday, all day, have for the past three years.
But, the severity changes. Most days it's just a dull hum, but every so often
it demands my full attention.
-Fear: I always have the knowledge in the back of my mind that a new relapse
can come on at any time. Or, that no one will want to marry someone with MS.
I have to say, even with these things, I still do most of what I want to do.
I am excited about my future and I am not sad about MS. It is beyond
frustrating when someone says 'why me'? Why not me? Everyone has their stuff
that they deal with. MS is a lot about learning to accept a new kind of normal.
Just like everyone else on earth I have good days and bad days. I just know my
limits. My plans haven't changed much. I still want it all: marriage, kids, a
full life. With BOOKS, lots of books :)
This is a great video about one man's journey with MS: