A hand curved carefully around the tiny flame, providing
shelter from the storm. Lost between here and there, desperate to remain. She walked
past angry faces, shadows carved from crippled branches dipping and swaying in
a devilish dance.
Once, twice the light threatened to die.
The only beacon, she willed it to burn on through the storm.
Stronger than the curved hand. Stronger than the beating heart. Her anxiety
grew as she felt the slipping of sand through the hour glass like boulders
falling from a steep incline, barreling towards expiration.
It was like that here.
Where no light was found, but for the faint spark on a dying
candle stick. But there was hope. Hope that sparks became flames and flames
became life. She glanced down at the flickering orange oval that was her future.
Her mission was not an easy one, but she’d give her life readily to protect the
radiance it promised.
Not a fleeting thing. But, a pulse growing stronger, steadier.
Her mouth lifted at the slight brightening of the light, as
though it understood their mission. Together they would set the fire of life to
this dead place.
Check out the other WoW posts here!!
All I can say is WOW. Beautifully written.
ReplyDeleteBy the way congrats on winning NaNo!
I totally agree with the WOW! My favorite line: "they would set the fire of life to this dead place" Stunning.
ReplyDeleteTiffiny: Thank you! I just barely hit 50K in time :)
ReplyDeleteClaire: Glad you liked it! Thanks!!!
That was... so expressive. Have you read the Hunger Games? It felt like the main characters journey in the book all summed up in one evocative piece.
ReplyDeleteAnd Congratulations on winning NaNo!!! :)
ReplyDelete"She walked past angry faces, shadows carved from crippled branches dipping and swaying in a devilish dance."
ReplyDeleteLoved this line.
What a feast of language! Wow.
Congrats on winning NaNo. Good feeling, isn't it?!
Found the first two paragraphs very interesting how the struggle and strain were depicted. First half set a nice contrast to the second.
ReplyDeleteTessa: I haven't read Hunger Games, but I really want to!! Thank you so much :)
ReplyDeleteGill: 'Feast of language' - Thanks! What a nice compliment!
SJP: Thank you!!!
Yes I agree with Claire, I really loved the last line, really powerful!
ReplyDeleteLillie,
ReplyDeleteI like the way you interlaced short sentences ("It was like that here.") in between the denser paragraphs. Often, that is what makes a piece like this flow. It becomes poetic in its construction and feel. And creates a cadence that our brains love (well, at least mine does).
That said, what a lovely piece. Well done.
--FC
Now this is why it's always worth checking back on WoW at the end of the week to see what you've missed!
ReplyDeleteYou have a real gift of painting a picture with words.
I love the imagery of the curved hand, a very poetic piece.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the awesome comments!!! You guys rock :)
ReplyDeleteNice one! I like the way you draw out the sense of a mission, a calling...
ReplyDeleteKate
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